Jeremy and I on Easter Sunday 2010

Friday, April 8, 2011

F&^%ing Facebook

I always, especially as an Army wife loved facebook, well first it was myspace, then I switched. I like seeing people's days, offering hugs from far away, praying, sharing, posting pics, even talking and sharing pics with my own daughter. We all have moments we rant, cry, are overjoyed, everyday is different for us all and facebook I thought was a way to connect with our families and friends and talk from faraway. I cant see all those on my page in person even yearly and some are Army wife friends I have made in past 4 years and I have had joy in know you.

In life we all meet so many people, some people bring joy, some bring stress, some seem to be your friends and in end hurt you. I have changed so much in last 6 years of my life, learned to be a better person,treat people better, be more about helping others in selfless acts instead of being selfish. I follow through with things I say I will do and never just walk away from something without making sure its solid. I dont talk about people that I say to thier face is a friend but behind thier back take every vent they make on a damn community website and make it huge deal. If I post information it came from a reliable website and if I vent, and your on my page then it was because your friend or I thought so. I dont trust many people and if you are deleted in next 24 hours its probaly because I dont trust you anymore or think very highly of your cowardly actions. If someone has an issue with what I post then have a backbone enought to say it or so you feel it's inappropraite instead of hide behind your goody too shoes nature.

Thursday, March 3, 2011


I hate dumb fights with your spouse. If I really  wanna fight and be mad at you it needs to be for a good reason, but just because you're in a pissy mood just uuurrkkss the hell out of me. Now I am pissy too.. Goodnight world, sleep just seems easier to  deal with now.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

MS lately....

I haven't been able to write much lately. Been busy around here and so much swarming in my head, not enough time to type it all out. 

MS is just MS, not too much change really. Upped some meds and switched to different kind for help with the fatigue, other then that it's normal pain, the contant pain and numbness, oh yeah and back pain is back again, but I deal with it.  I am very excited about this Christmas with our kids so MS can happily take the back burner.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

My first attempt at a short story/possibly more(Its still rough, so dont mind the grammer and spelling)

"Mom I'm scared," Max whispered. Mom just held him tight and didn't say a word. I could tell by the look she had that she was too.

This had been a vacation from hell. I get along fine with my parents and as much as a pain in the butt Max is, he is a sweet kid, good kid in fact, but regardless, being and 18 year old senior, just graduated from high school, I would rather be in Cancun with my friends right now then in Florida with my parents. Yes, I realize I sound like a spoiled little brat, but I am far from it, all I wanted was a little freedom finally. I had graduated top of my class, within the top ten percent of my class, I had done all the extra cirricular activities, applied for best colleges, everything my parents wanted for me. The least I could ask for was a chance to go to Cancun with my friends, I mean the whole graduating class is there, and here I am, now in middle of some wierd storm, stuck out in middle of the ocean with my parents and little brother.

For some reason dad thought he still had it. He liked to talk about his wild days after high school and all the adventures he had. He spent a summer on the ocean, going from place to place, doing whatever he wanted, and apparently he thought that over 20 years later he could still navigate the water. Well, I guess not because now we are somewhere off the coast of Florida is some hellashish storm. Cancun would be so good right now.

Mom looks like a mama cat right now, holding Max close to her, petting his head, trying to push down all his crazy hair. Justing Beiber look is big this year, so he has this crazy head of hair and refuses to cut it because he says girls at school like it. I am really sure they don't, who could, I don't wanna run my fingers through my boyfriends hair I cant imagine any girl would, I really prefer the whole short messy look.  But, right now I can hear mom whispering "it's gonna work out" to Max as he sobs in her arms. I guess I should be scared, maybe it's my coping mechinism inside my brain that keeps me from freaking out, instead I sit here and watch the caosis around me insu.

All of a sudden from out of nowhere there is a flash of light. This must be it, the end, I remember this one Christmas. Max was just a toddler, running around getting into everything. Having us be 8 years apart had it's benefits for my parents I think. It was at times, like Max had a whole extra parent. I had always been a very responsible person, even at a young age, my mom said by age two I took care of my baby dolls like a real pro, cleaned the house even better then my dad too.  This Christmas was special though, this was the first Christmas Max started to understand all our traditions. Of course at only two he was into everything and mom, trying to keep it all perfect was trying to keep him occupied so we could open presents and Max had no patience for this. He had already tore through all his presents and was ready to play with them now.  Mom was so frustrated, she wanted pictures and she had a special surprise for dad, so being me, I jumped in. I sat Max in my lap and we opened his toys. His favorite was trains. We opened the box and I began the journey of taking each piece of the cardboard and the wrapped around wire ties. I remember thinking at ten years old when I grow up i will work for a toy company and my first line of business would be to package gifts more effectivly for parents to open for their kids because this sucked but Max had this look of absolute amazement on his face, so I kept going. Mom got dad's special gift out as I continued to pull out train pieces and I watched in the background as my parents had a special moment. I always prayed I find love like my parents. I watched them as I grew up, so in tune with eachother, even at ten I seen my friends parents, they bickered and yelled, or just ignored eachother, but not my parents, they wanted to be together as much as they could, and with us as much as they could. I guess now looking back now I remember why I was here in Florida with my parents, because they loved me and they wanted to spend one last summer with me before I went off to live my own life. Before I died, I guess this is the most appropriate memeory to have.

The flash of light was gone, but I realized we weren't dead. The water all arund us was completly calm, the water a sarene shade of blue, almost like the color of my birthstone, aquamarine.  Mom still had look of panic on her face, dad looked dumbfounded and Max just looked amazed, his eyes, same color as mine, a greyish shade of blue, now sparkled a brighter shade of blue, like the water glistened off his eyes. Where were we? This had to be a dream. I pinched myself to check.

I watched as mom got up from Max and went to dad's side. They were whispering, I tried hard to listen but Max came over next to me to look over the side of the boat. "Laney, where are we?" he asked. "I'm not real sure short stuff," I relplied.

"You know your gonna have to stop calling me that soon, I am the tallest boy in my class, you know."

"Yep, I know but you have been my short stuff for 8 years now, it's not like I can just drop your nickname. Just think though, someday 10 years from now you get to be Uncle Short Stuff and you can tell your nieces and nephews how by age 10 you were too tall for that name but it stuck anyways."

Max just stuck out his tongue in reply, I smirked. I love that kid. 

"Stay here a minute, Max, I am gonna check on mom."

"I wanna ..." I cut him off with a look, the one that says, I can get more information if your not tagging along kinda look, so he just turned to look back at the water. What a strange shade of blue, almost creepy shade of blue, like water is not supposed to look that way. I shuddereed, and realized it had also gotten chilly. I ran under the boat and grabbed a sweater for Max and handed it to him before I went to check on mom.
As I went around the other side of the boat I say my mother in my fathers arms. He was stroking her hair and holding her to his chest. I could tell she had been crying but as soon as they noticed my presentence she quickly fixed herself to look strong. I had seen a lot of this side of my mom the last couple of years. She had some health issues for years and finally received a diagnosis of Mulitple Sclerosis about two years ago. But, to her it didn’t matter, she wasn’t going to let some “dumb disease” as she called it, stop her from enjoying her life. I could tell though. My mom was truly my best firend and I could tell it wasn’t as easy as she made it seem. My dad seen it too, but he let her be, as did I. Instead we just did a little extra around the house and never complained. Sometimes Max complained of his chores or slacked a bit, but all it took was a look from dad and Max did whatever was asked of him. Watching dad stroke her hair like that made her look so fragile, like a little porcelian doll.

“So, do we have any idea where we are at, oh Captain, my Captain?” I asked.

My dad smirked, he was king of quotes from movies, books, whatever and he always put me in my place when I said it wrong, but he defiantly gave me an A for effort.

“Well, it looks like we are in the ocean somewhere between here and there.” leave it up to my dad to be a smart ass at a time like this, guess I know where I learned it. My mom shot a look at him.

“It seems that nothing is working Laney. No radio, no compass, not a thing. I am not sure what is wrong either, but I am sure with your brain and mine we can figure this out.” Wow, another look from mom.

“Come on Beth, she is a young lady now, and smart one, I am not going to treat her like a child and pretend like everything is okay.”

Mom just bit her lip. “Alright your right, but we need to keep it quiet around Max, got it?”

“Agreed.” Dad and I both chimed in at same time.

“I am going to go check on your brother, you stay with your dad.”

She kissed me on the cheek and ran her fingers through my hair, gave me that help your dad and keep him out of trouble look, and off she went to check on Max.

My mom had always been my best friend. While most of my friends hated their parents and fought with them all the time, for the most part we had a great equal balance of parenthood and friendship. It had been just me and my mom the first couple years of my life. See, dad is not my dad by blood, but by all things that truly make a father he is 100% my dad. My biological dad was my mom’s high school sweetheart. She had big plans after high school but had decided to take a year before college to decide what she wanted out of her life. During that time she became pregnant with me. She said he wasn’t all bad, but then he started to get into drugs and alchol and she decided she wasn’t going to raise her daughter in that mess. When I was less then a year old, she left, started a new life for us. She worked hard, went to school, and took care of me. She says she never thought she’d find love, real love, she wasn’t even sure it existed. She knew her parents just dealt with each other and most people didn’t speak highly of marriage, so she continued focused on making the best of it all. School, work, and her little Laney, she would say, was all she needed. Then one day she met a man. They exchanged numbers and from there she was no longer in charge of her life she says. Phone calls began and just by talking they became very close. Mom said she fought it the whole way, refusing dates, always saying she was too busy. Terrified was the word my mom used to describe the way she felt, terrified that she would fall for this man and be hurt or worse yet, hurt me. God works in mysterious ways and my dad was not going to give up, so for 3 months they talked daily. Dad said he was already in love with her and was not about to give her up or give up on her. One day she had planned a day at the zoo for us. I was 2 ½ by now. Well, guess who showed up? Dad, of course. She said it was the best day ever and he even bought me a penguin that day from the sovinour shop. I still have it. Of course I don’t remember the day but we have pictures and I like to replay the story in my head. Dad said he was so scared to show up, because he hadn’t met me and mom was so protective of me, he was a little scared mom would hate him for showing up. Mom said she wanted to be mad, but her heart longed to see him again, so when she seen him she shed a tear of happiness and wrapped her arms around him. Now 16 years later, she says she falls in love with him everyday more and more. I asked once how she knew he was the one. Her answer, I will never forget. “I couldn’t live without him. When I left your father I could live without him, and that’s how I knew it wasn’t right but with dad, I wouldn’t be me, wouldn’t have a desire to be anything without him, that’s how I knew.”

As years went on, dad adapted me officially, they had Max, and we had a great life. Mom and I always stayed close, able to talk about it all, and dad, well dad was also my best friend. He was my biggest fan. When I had crazy ideas on what I wanted to do, maybe even things that were too big for me to do alone, he’d be right there cheering me on, helping me through. We would talk for hours sometimes. He was the best dad a girl could have. I never was the girl to dream of her wedding, more so, dreaming about all the things I would achieve someday, but I defently looked forward to seeing him walk me down the aisle someday. Dad had lots of ideas, a old soul mom called him. He and mom would sit on porch for hours talking, as a kid I remember playing Barbies on porch secretly listening to my dad talking about linear motion to my mom and even if she wasn’t interested in how linear motion worked, it was the love of her life talking and that interested her because it was apart of him, she would always look so interested. I asked once if all stuff dad talked about interested her too. She giggled. I could see the wheels turning in her head as she carefully choose her words. “It’s not always that I am interested in the particular subject but I am always interested in your dad. He has an amazing brain and that my dear is one of the reasons I fell in love with him.”

“Dad, what do you think is going on here?” I questioned.

“Sweetie, I really am not sure. You know that the impossible is never really impossible so we can not rule out anything.”

“You mean like a worm hole in the fabric of time, or something like that.”

“Yes, exactly. You see, we were off the coast of Florida, do you remember what is off the coast of Florida?”

“Of course, I think I have seen every documentary possible about the Brumenda Triangle, but you and I have talked about it, and you said you didn’t really believe it was anything more then the stories.”

“Well, the best way to become a believer is to see it first hand. Well, now we are lost at sea, nothing works, and we went from a horrendous storm to complete calm with no explanation.”

“I think first thing first, lets check over the boat for any damage above and below deck, once we have done that we will figure out what to do next. I will go below deck, can you check everything up here for me?”

“Of course Daddy,” I replied.

Could it really be? Could we really have been drawn all the way out to the Triangle, and if so, what do we do now? If nothing works we cannot call for help then it’s up to us to figure out how to get out of this mess. I wish I was in Cancun so much right now. I start checking the ropes on the starboard and start to tear up when I hear someone behind me.


It’s my mom.

“Yah mom.”

“Max is exhausted. I just layed him down below, how are you holding up?”

Refusing to show her any weakness, she doesn’t need to see me weak right now, she has enough to deal with right now, I don’t turn to look. “I’m okay mom. Just helping dad check the boat for damage.”


She sounds so sad and far away. It makes me sad.

“It’s gonna be okay mom.”

“Oh I know that sweetie, arent I supposed to be the one to make you feel better though?”

“Sometimes you need it too mama.” She gave me that half smirk and I seen the smile in her eyes. She loves when I call her mama. I don’t do it often so when I do it makes her heart fly she once told me. When I was little I always called her mama, but as I got older it was just mom.

“It just feels like a scene out of a movie, Lacey, I mean this stuff isn’t supposed to happen to regular people like us.”

“God will watch over us mom. You tell me that all the time, remember. Just be strong mom. Dad will help us get out of this and before you know it you will be back in South Carolina at your PTA meetings and busy helping me pack up my life to head off to college. It will all work out for the best.”

“Has anyone ever told you that your wise beyond your years? You remind me of dad so much, a wise old soul, you are one of the wisest gifts God has given this world.”

“I love you too mom’” I said with a grin. She wrapped her arms around me for a moment as we looked out at the water.

“Eeary isn’t it mom?”

“What do you mean?”

“The water, look at it. It’s shade of blue I have never seen of water before, and how crystal clear it is. Look, you can see below the water, the ocean life, down there swimming about.”

“Well, I guess it is a little odd, but it’s not like we know what all the water all over the world looks like. I am sure its common for off the shore of Florida.”

“I guess.”

I don’t really agree but this is a good talk to have with dad not mom. We sit for a moment and just enjoy the quiet together. Dad interupts us.

“Hey girls!”

“Hey dad,” I replied, “All seems to be ship-shape on deck. I didn’t find anything broken. How was it below deck.”

“Good it seems, I didn’t find anything wrong. I took a quick look at our food supply and water too. We will be good for awhile but we need to be careful and ration out until we figure this out. Little Lady, do you think you can give me and your mom a minute?”

“Of course, I will go below and check on Max.”

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Christmas is more than toys...

For all of my upbringing, I looked forward to Christmas Day. The month before looking at the toy ads and circling things I "wanted" and then as a teen loving the gift cards and clothes I would receive just to return to my previous ungrateful child-self within a few days after the holiday was over. All my parents efforts always seemed to go unnoticed by me because once school was back in session I would just compare what I got to my friends and think how I was so underprivileged. Guess what, it wasn't that bad. My parents did best they could and now looking back I was a total a-hole. So, sorry Mom & Dad, I sucked, as a teen especially.(But, just so you know I turned out okay, I am almost 30 and I finally "got it" in the last few years) Don't get me wrong, my parents and I didn't really see eye to eye on much since about age of 14 but I do know one thing, no matter how much I made them angry and they made me angry, they loved me and every Christmas put themselves into debt for next 6 months just to please my sister and myself.

Since I have met my husband I have done a lot of "soul searching." I am far from perfect by any means, but I want more for my kids and I want them to learn things that took me a lot longer to learn.  Now, the realization that I can try but cannot force them to get what I am trying to teach is there in the back of my head but nonetheless, I am going to try.

With Christmas around the corner this year my wonderful hubby and I have had many discussions on what Christmas is about. We have come to the conclusion that our children think its about presents and well, I don't agree. Erin, being only 2, this is our chance to get it right and start some new traditions and teach our older children a thing or two. Now on top of it, my dad hasn't worked in 3 years and my mom just lost her job, so they don't need to buy any gifts this year.  We decided between my sister and I, with 10 grandchildren that there would be no need for gifts except to buy for your own children and that is it. We had the kids draw the kids names out of a hat and each child will be making a gift for one of the other kids. They all have been told about no gifts and seem to understand but we will see who says the first thing on Christmas. I am hoping that when we sit down to talk about the last year and all we have to be gratefult o God for, they will see something new in us. We are making new traditions this year. Making a homemade gingerbread town(with 6 kids we need to have more then one house) and doing fun things like making cookies and going for walks and playing Wii Dance and kicking my kids butts!! I want to remember this Christmas for years to come.

Don't get me wrong, the kids will still get gifts, but it wont be as much as they used to from us. I will not put us into debt for toys that will get dusty in a few months. I will not allow my parents to not pay their truck payment or house payment just to buy my kids more stuff that they don't really need.  I love my kids and hope that this year starts to make a real difference on the meaning of Christmas in their eyes, so maybe one day they will be ones writing their own blog talking about the best year ever when they figured out that their parents loved them enough to not buy them a bunch of stuff they didn't need and instead filled them full of memories.

Monday, November 29, 2010

What a Weekend!

So this Thanksgiving weekend, my hubby was fortunate to have a 4-day weekend, so we drove up to VA to see his family, especially since we are going home for Christmas.  We headed up on Wednesday night and came home on Sunday. It was a great visit. We hung with the family, Jay had his birthday, did a little Black Friday shopping, and even managed to get my Mother-in-Law's Christmas tree up. 

I think I have found the key to Black Friday shopping. See, I have been apart of this crazy day since I was a little girl. A memory I have that is my favorite is of an old lady hitting my dad's cart with hers at Walmart, all for a stupid popcorn tin that she wanted and he had.  I used to be nuts, getting up at 3am so I could be at Walmart by 4am, toting along my two toddlers at the time. Using my cart as a battering But, after I met Jeremy we never really had a desire or need to do this craziness so I have not done it for at least 3 years, plus those years in retail instead of shopping it, I was managing it.

Our trip idea started on Thursday, and decided we would go to Target at 5am then hit the 5Below at 6. Well, my alarm went off on Friday morning at 4 and I hit snooze, then next time it went off, I asked Jeremy if he wanted to get up? and his answer was a low moan, so I just turned off the alarm completely and went back to sleep. See, he was my excuse for my laziness or maybe I can blame the turkey coma from Thanksgiving Day, either way, we did not get up. But, by 6am I was wide awake so I got the hubby going and by 7am we wondered into Target. It was busy, and we got a cart. The bad parts of the store were electronics, so we quickly got through it and wondered to look at what we needed to. We ditched to cart to avoid people and it worked great. We shopped, and looked around, laughed, and played with toys. After we made a few purchases(we also walked right up to a register), we grabbed Starbucks and off to the next store. Traffic wasn't even that bad, we just parked far out, because we didn't care. We went to a few more places, then even braved ToyrUs. Holy Cow, now the line to check out was nuts, all the way around back of the store, I guess their specials ended at 1pm, so as soon as 1pm hit, Wa La! No more line, at all, associates just standing there, doing nothing. We didn't even plan to buy anything there, just went to go wonder around and play, and we did. Erin had a great day and after we went back to the in-laws. The key to Black Friday is not to stress and have fun. We didn't try to park close, we didn't get upset if something we wanted was gone, who cares really? If it's not there then it wasn't meant for us. It was the best ever Black Friday ever and I am so blessed that my husband has changed me so much to relax a little more everyday and not sweat the small stuff.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Having MS Sucks ;}

I don't what is with this time of year. I can't stay motivated. I would like to say that I have control of my MS but it's all an illusion. MS takes control whenever it freaking feels like it, well, in case your wondering I would love to take control back now. Feeling like you can barely move or get off the couch bites. When my husband is speaking to me and I am too tired to even talk, it's ridiculous. Then I had joy of falling in love with my husband all over again last night as I watched him exsert every bit of energy he had to play like a crazy guy with our 2 year old little lady. It was amazing and I sat on the couch and watched. I am lucky to have him be my husband.

I am happy to report that Betaseron is doing what is supposed to, currently no new active lesions in my brain, so that is good news. Bad news, the symptoms never completly go away. I really hate the, what I have learned people call it, as MS hug. My body feels so very uncomfortable, and eyes are blurry every so often for few minutes at a time.

I am looking forward to the holidays this year. Mostly because I miss my kids like crazy and I cannot wait to be with them. I am using all the energy I have to keep going right now. We are going to my in-laws for Turkey Day, which is good. My sister-in-law was diagnosed with Lupus recently. I find it a little crazy that 2 of the Farley boys have wives with auto immune diseases. I love my sis-in-law. She is a strong person and I know talking and hanging out with her will be a great pick me up while I am in VA.

Hopefully the fatigue will pass soon and I can rejoin my life that is already in session.

Turkey Talk

Have you ever heard of Alton Brown?? He is the man behind Good Eats. This show is on Food Network and I LOVE IT! My hubby turned me onto it when we first met. Holiday episodes are my absolute favorite. He explains everything and also from scientific side so you can really understand. Here is link for his recipe for brining a turkey

But, I am now going to explain it to. Brining your turkey from 24-48 hours before will give it more flavor and make it more juicy then it has ever been. I could tell a huge difference in our turkey done this way and I have been making turkey since at least 1997ish.

Now you want to make your brine in a clean 5 gallon bucket with lid or use a cooler like we did(we didn't have a bucket and no place close to even buy one). You want a gallon of vegetable or chicken broth. We found that not everywhere sells vegetable broth so we used chicken. 1 cup of salt, 1/2 cup brown sugar, your seasonings, 1 gallon of ice water. Now for our seasonings Alton offers different ideas but we went with garlic, thyme, rosemary, allspice berries, he also suggest candied ginger but in Fort Irwin California we couldn't find it, so I look forward to the different flavor of this years. All of these ingredients are in the brine, not inside the turkey, now for the turkey himself.

Sage, rosemary, and 1/2 of a onion(I prefer yellow). You stuff inside of the bird with these things and set it inside brine. Cover and keep ice on it and keep it cold. For us, it was cold enough outside and I kept ice on it for 2 days and it worked out perfect.

After your brine, pull out your turkey and set him in the sink. Pat him dry. Now you want to bathe him in extra virgin olive oil. Bathe him, rub him, and give him lots of love. Set him into his baker. Create a "turkey triangle" with foil to only cover the breast. You want to do this because the breast does not need to get overdone(obviously this means you place it breast side up). Bake your turkey at 500 degrees for 30 minutes. This is to seal turkey and give it the beginning of the beautiful outside crust. At 30 minutes drop temp down to 350 degrees until breast meat reaches 161 degrees. Let your turkey sit for 15 minutes before cooking to allow the fats to resettle in and give you the beautiful cuts you want. Alton also can teach you the most beautiful way to carve your bird. I learned a lot from this episode. I am sure you can google it and watch it online. For those of you that this is your first cooking venture or even your 10th year of doing Thanksgiving you can learn a lot from this man!!

Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful this year for quite a lot, my husband, my kids, having answers to my health this year, finally!

Check me out on Facebook too, my Pampering your Kitchen with Niki FanPage is for my Pampered Chef Business and I post lots of giveaways, specials, recipes and extras!!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

It's another week

Oh boy! Oh boy! Another week. This week will be a short week for us. Hubby gets a four day weekend and I have 3 Pampered Chef shows this weekend. Yep, 3. I am looking forward to it for the most part. I like it, it's fun, but I will be so tired by time the end of the last one on Sunday. But, I will kick some butt while doing it.  

So in my always crazy mind, I made up the mind to work on hair bows and to also try my hand at making felt toddler size handbags. I am a creative person and pretty proud of my creations, but after all the work doing it, I realize do all mom's know how freaking easy this is? I mean, it does not take that much creativity to make some basic ones and they are really cheap to do. I went to Hobby Lobby(OMG I LOVE THIS PLACE) and all the ribbon is 50% off so I got all different kinds ranging from $1.99 to $3.99 and at 50% off no more then $2 a roll. Then they offer different barrettes that are in bags ranging from $2.99 to $4.99. I got some larger clips for my older daughters with more hair and the smaller ones for Erin.  So for about $20(not even that much) I ended up making 20 bows all of different styles and colors. My friends say they are good enough to sell which I think will be my main goal. Start an ETSY site? Maybe. I see people selling these for $5-$7 and I would make at least 50% profit, now if I can just get my skills and experience up to make a tutu.



So, here is some of what I have made. I like pink a lot, guess I need to look at more colors.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

When is it time for a cane?

I have thought a lot about this lately. MS is different now then 10 years ago. Back then it was more common for MS to make you truly disabled at an early age but today, if found sooner and treated, they can slow the progression of the disease or they think they are. Since they don't really know what causes MS I think we are lucky we have medications we have, even though it cannot be entirely explained why they work.  So, to keep my MS from progressing to point of losing the ability to walk I do an every other day injection of Betaseron. I loathe injection day, but it's necessary, so I suck it up and drive on(Army term used to tell soldiers stfu and let's go).  But I wonder when I will need a cane or walker or wheel chair. So often I have to tell my legs to work or use wall to help, especially when I first stand up from sitting or lying down. Like first thing in morning I always grab the dresser. I guess I will never move that furniture around because I NEED that dresser first thing in the morning or I'd probably fall over. So is it time yet for a cane? Maybe not quite there but when I do get one it will be coolest can possible. I think I will get zebra print with bright pink accents, just so I can say, "Hell ya I got cane, and you don't, jealous yet?" 

I am

wanting to do some redecorating. I know, right before holidays you ask. But, I am a cheapskate at heart. I love a good deal and my favorite is free stuff. Like my hubby. He made a pirate ship, not joking, a pirate ship for FREE, this Halloween and our yard looked freaking awesome. Everyone thought so. Now I gotta figure out how heck I am gonna set it all up alone next year, anyways, off subject. So, when it come to doing a little redecorating you can do a lot with a little if you know how.

First off paint, but since we are in military housing and I already put my hubby through that once, we will nix this idea for me, but for you it can work. You can look online and find some amazing ideas on painting techniques or really just pick a great color, do a whole room or accent a wall. I do suggest thinking it through with the color though. My neighbor across the street painted her house, and its looks like someone threw up Pepto Bismol all over the walls. I mean what hubby is okay with that. It's pink everywhere. It's not a damn sorority house, I mean jeez, poor guy. I am pretty sure his wife wears pants in that house. Point is, if you live with someone, agree on color, and please, please, please, don't paint your walls Pepto pink unless it's a little girls room and even then I would rethink that idea. Oh and don't do black either unless you are totally Emo and then it's okay but if you are truly Emo you won't like it for long anyways so instead cover your walls with newspaper and call it a day(or wrapping paper too, it could be fun, you can tear it off weekly and try new pattern).

Secondly, fabric is so important. There is this place here in Fayetteville, well technically Spring Lake, called REA. I have no idea what REA stands for but I vote for Really Earthy Aroma, as in, it smells awful in the place, but, when it comes to there being a good deal, I will hold my nose.  This place sells the stuff no one else can or is opened, like when a idiot goes to Walmart and doesn't bring a diaper for their baby and instead of buying a pack and going to change the baby in the bathroom, instead they very slyly open a bag of diapers in the store, steal one and leave the bag opened on the shelf, just to piss off an underpaid worker later.  Anyways, REA has fabric. Lots of it, some ugly, some cute, some that you ask yourself wth?, but lots of it. The fabric runs $1 a yard, yes I said only $1, and then they have things like faux leather and suede for $2 yard, now that is even better deal. That being said, I go at least weekly to check and see if they have diapers because as I said I am cheap and $4 for bag of diapers rocks! and I always check and see if they have any fabric that is nice. Just this last week I snagged a nice suede material in tan and then this silky kinda striped and ta-da, I made new pillows that are light colored to break of the monotony of the dark brown leather sofa(which I hate). While I was at it, I got this super thick fabric in pretty brown. Fabric feels kinda like those curtains you buy to keep out sun, so I got it and made curtains. Wa-la, I made curtains and pillows all for about $5(I stuffed the pillows with fluff from old pillow we no longer used from one of the kids beds).  So look for cheap, clearance fabrics. You can use diff patterns and colors together to make some really cool looks and making things like curtains and pillow can change so much for so little. Maybe some day I will try couch cover. We will see.

The amazing pirate display this year at no cost.
Third, placement of furniture. You can change a whole room just by figuring out new arrangement or bring some things from other rooms into different rooms. For instance I move at least one room around a month. It's a weird thing I do, but my hubs has gotten used to it. My MIL says you move furniture around a lot and change things because you are unhappy in your life and desire change. I would not agree, I just like changing things up a bit. It's like trying a new "position," you don't know if you like it till you try it, so I try it. If I don't like it, I move it again. Not like it hurts anyone for me to be crazy. At least I am a nut with sense.

I just added this one so you can see the daylight and my little pirate princess.

Ugly pillow, blending in before

Pretty new suede pillows with contrast of colors and fabric
So as I write all these ideas for you, and selfishly look around my own room to decide what to do next, I think I decided on a photo project for the wall behind the couch. 6 square photo frames with a black and white of each of our kids in it, an up close pic. I guess I need to start looking for frames for cheap. The color never matters, really just the shape. I found I can find frames cheaper if I care less about color. That's what paint is for. 

Well, that's my 2 cents for today. I have to go do laundry now. Blah! The life of a mom and wife is never dull.
And don't forget my new curtains!

God only gives you what you can handle...

Yep, I tell myself this all the time. And, repeatedly tell others the same when they ask about my MS. So I politely say it's okay, I deal, "God never gives you more then you can handle." Guess what? What I really wanna say is you have no friggin clue. God must think I wear a cape and mask, I must be a super hero. But you can't, people already feel pity towards you because you are sick. Jeez, okay, yes I am sick, I feel like pooh a lot but I do not need to be handled as if I am a piece of thousand year old parchment.  But then toss in those who say well, you look fine, you must be faking it. Well, if only it was that simple.

But, in the light at the end of all this, I do know I can handle it. I have my bad days, bad weeks, bad months, but it eventually passes. I always find happiness in my life. My hubby is amazing, my children are fab-u-lous, and all healthy and can be. So, can I really complain?

There are things I wanna do with my life still. I am almost 30 now. Crazy how fast time goes. I tried to go back to school. I found it hard to concentrate and understand and comprehend what I needed to know to pass tests which were my big down fall and since school makes you take those damn tests all the time to make sure you actually are doing the work, I think I closed that chapter in my life, but just because it's closed doesn't mean it can't be reopened.  I also would like to write more. Although, I don't think I am all that good at it. When I was a kid I wanted to write children's books. I don't think I want that now, probably because I don't think I can be "that" happy of a person to write a cheerful book to make children smile, unless I could write Halloween only books about vampire ninjas and pirate vampires.  You know that is not a bad idea. I really like vampires(yes I AM TEAM EDWARD) and if you toss in some pirates and ninjas too that be a hell of a story.  Lol. You know, it'd be nice to be interesting enough that people read my blog.....hint my damn blog people. I mean come on, sitting on couch surfing web all day, you have nothing better to do really or maybe it's just me, I really have nothing better to do. Well I take that back, I do have a lot to do but the MS fatigue crap is kicking my butt for going on two weeks now and sitting on my butt typing to no one seems to be about all I can handle. Insert grin here.  But, whatever though, I know I am interesting, just ask my 2 year old!

So part of MS apparently is I jump from subject to subject and have no real way to lead into each different subject. I am going to use that as my excuse now so I don't have to make an effort to sit here and make my brain work to create a nice way to transition.

Anyways, so having MS sucks. I don't really know what to do with it. For those of you that know me, I am a "do-er." You know what I mean, you are given a task, idea, whatever it is and you make it happen. So now being told that you have an auto immune disease with no cure, what the h#$% am I supposed to "do" with that. I like volunteer work, so of course I could work with MS Society or something like that, but that is hard to do when I live where the Army dictates. So you got any ideas? My brain isn't working right so your ideas could help.  What do I do? Oh, and don't say live, take care of your kids, your spouse. I do all that but I know there is more out there. I would like to help other MSers but how. With a blog on rantings to know that my life sucks sometimes too, maybe. It is always nice to know you aren't alone. But I can't always be negative either. So not me, but I am quite a smart a$$. Gotta love that right?

So, I guess I just press on. Almost 30 years old, trying to figure out what I wanna be when I grow up still. When are we supposed to know this by again? I hope that my kids figure it out well before they hit 30, maybe like before they go to college and waste money trying to figure it out. Who knows, but even if not a lot of people read this. I decided I want to post more on here on my craziness of life. Maybe it might get interesting. 

Monday, October 25, 2010

End of Summer...Hello Fall!

This last summer has been a very full one with a lot of ups and downs, good times and bad. Finally receiving my diagnosis this summer has been a blessing and a disappointment all at once. I mean, having Multiple Sclerosis is not what I want for myself and my family, but having a name to put to all the symptoms and all the pain is the positive attribute to it all. 

I have come to appreciate the little things in life more. Like my 2 year old little girl, who every day wants to dress up in a princess dress and wear high heal shoes. She makes me smile and I love that even with her mommy not always feeling great she's still always smiling.

I find with this disease there are ups and downs. One day, you feel fine, even great, but don't let it fool you, an hour later or a week later, you will be on the couch not able to really move or for that matter function anything more then what has to be done. It is absolutely crazy how it works.  I find that I am only one of many though. So much information is out there to defer through. I like hearing other's stories and issues, makes me feel a bit normal.

I have not used my blog in 5 months but I am hoping to start blogging more about my life as it changes and how MS effects it along with all other things going on in our lives.

Monday, May 3, 2010

This week!

So this week is crazy!! The Welcome Home BBQ for our Company is this week, so I am gonna have crazy days on Wednesday and Thursday and Friday I may just crash, but in a good way.

First Wednesday service is this week. I haven't gone in so long, but looking forward to it. Jeremy will be on 24 hour duty so it will just be Erin and I.

We are keeping up with our devotions nightly, sometimes we use the couples book or just sit and talk together.  Just wanted to give a little update.

Life is wonderful and looking forward to some upcoming opportunities we have recently come across. Seems like God is really working in our lives.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Following Christ for real, not just showing up for church on Sunday

This last month of our lives has been a little crazy. But from it all, feels like I finally see a path to becoming a real Christian. I was baptized in Sept of 2009, but after that point, I was like, now what? I am a list person, so you tell me what to do, I do it, but in a spiritual journey it doesn't work that way.

My husband is an amazing man, full of so much information to Christ. He tells me though, "he who knows much is accountable for much." So, I know he felt like he needed to get back on his own track back to God as well. He tells me of the promissive will and unsubmissive will of God. I mean Jesus died on the cross for our sins, certainly not his, because he had none. It's a pretty amazing thing that God let his only son die for us because we are sinners, and God lets us continue to be sinners because he gives us the choices and it's up to us to make the right ones. Then also sometimes, God lays things out in a way to make and end result he needs. I love that He has this kind of power. Its amazing.

So in all we have been through in the last month, I feel like it has a reason,set up by God to give me the answer I needed on now what?. By all that has occured, we have come closer as a couple and closer to God. We have a new found desire to know more, to do more. I bought my first devotions book for couples to give us a focus everyday, hoping that will be a good start, and so far, so good. I bought my husband a new Bible from me. He told me I could not buy myself one because it's something so very special, with so much meaning that having one given to you is an amazing gift. I got him a beautiful Bible. I find the book to be the coolest thing. I mean layered in leather, paper that feels like it can rip so easily that you want to be so careful. And in the last month we have talked more then we ever did. Become even more open with eachother, then I thought possible. The thing is, I love my husband, he was always my best friend. I thought we were really open and honest, and had a great relationship. I mean how many people really have a desire to hang out with their spouse all the time. We did, so I thought we were good, but since we really took God into our lives it has been a more powerful relationship between us then I thought possible, and I owe God for that.

I truly love my husband and through everything, I know with God on our side I can see the future, hanging out in our rocking chairs. sitting on the porch, him with his DS5000(no its not a real one, but I am sure there will still be video games around in another 40 years) and me with my book in a little handheld touch screen, watching our grandchildren and great grandchildren grow up to be amazing people.

I learn so much everyday and look forward to it. I feel like I am finally ready to make good decisions to be a good Christian, and be in imagine of God, like we are meant to be. And, to raise children who can see that leading a life with God brings happiness.

Noone really reads my blog, but I do it for me, a place to put all my crazy jubbled up thoughts. This is a new beginning for us and well I need to write about it!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

My newest read

So, I became totally obsessed with the Twilight series, all thanks to my parents, who on my birthday bought me the first 3 books, and within 3 days, I had read them and had to buy the 4th. Stephenie Meyer is an amazing writer and the movies in no way give her justice, to say the least. So I then read them all a second time, and officially became a Twilight nut even after so long of refusing to do it.

Well, I was about to start reading them a third time and Jeremy suggested I get a new book, especially because he was supposed to do cq duty(Army duty where he gaurds a specific place for a 24 hour duty). He knows that I hate being home alone and thought it would help. After going to couple places to look for books. I finally broke down and bought Stephenie Meyer's new book "The Host." Now I was against this book because it did not have my precious Edward in it and all I want really is a 5th book(not a book about Bree Tanner). But after the first few kinda confusing chapters I couldn't put it down. Another amazing book!
I do find it interesting that her characters always are so selfless. In "Twilight" Bella is always willing to give her life for others that she loves, even willing to die for her vampire family who could at any chance turn on her. In "The Host", Wanderer also behaves in the same ways, more then willing to do anything to please others in human family she has grown so much to love, even though she is not sure of how much they really love her or just the person's body she is inside of. That is of course the only similiarity in the books.

I actually ended up buying this book for my mom now for Mother's Day. She loves to read as well and it's been far to long since she has read a really good book. I hope she enjoys it as much as I did. And for all you out there who are like me and don't want to read a different book from Stephenie because it's not about vampires, well give it a try. I was pleasently surprised.

That's it for today, gotta check the mail and see if my Team Edward sticker came in the mail

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Pictures from Erin's 2nd Birthday Party~Tiki Style

Easter Island

The Easter Island Tiki!
This is my favorite, because he did not cost a thing. Thanks to my parents(Thanks Mom & Dad), we got a new tv for our birthdays(both Jeremy and I are in March). So Jeremy cut off the sides and used excess cardboard to make braces inside and hot glued them inside. The layout of the box worked out perfectly. Then he layed it on its side, cut around some other cardboard we had, heading for the recylce bin, and made the sides, also hot glued on and left to set. The outside was then paper mache. The mixture was a bit different to make it more sturdy. The mixture was flour, water, salt, which is the normal kind, but we added clay flour. We had purchased a 50 pound box of this from a taxadermy website last year. By adding it, the constitancy was much better. So, newspaper with the paper mache mixture, and it dried much quicker then other projects we did with regular paper mache. He did coloring with layering of paints. First layer was black, then with a sponge brush and light strokes of gray next. You have to make sure its very dry brush/sponge, not a lot of paint, or the effect will not look as nice. Next added in some med green coloring with dry brush technique and then a darker green.,and we had some moss lying around from the plant that we had bought for clearance in one of the other projects that he added last. This guy was great for backdrop of the swimming pool we filled with sand. Since Erin's sandbox was only big enough for 2 toddlers, we got a pool that we would need anyways in the summer, added 4 bags of play sand and toys and kids had a blast. Erin had to be pulled away kicking and screaming from it. And what will we do with all the sand, well Erin goes through it, and it will last us through fall, so we will just store it for use later. Waste not want not, right?!

More of our Tiki decorations

Jeremy created this fountain. The tiki guy is wood, we got him years ago at a mall in St Louis. He was less then $20 at time. He wasnt even on the bottom so he would never sit up right and would fall over off the shelves and hit kids in the head and me more then once. I had put him up. Jeremy drilled a hole in the back for the tubing and 3 small holes diagonally down his tongue. He added a small line of hot glue along bottom of his tongue to make the water flow the way it needed to so it would go down off his body into the hole you can't see, if he did not do that it would run straight down his body.  The tubing was purchased at Lowes, less then $5 for a big long piece, I think like 5 ft, and the fountain motor was from Lowes as well. It was $10-15, not sure because we bought it last year. The wicker basket was from plant we found clearanced out and we liked the leaves but had no use for basket. He used a cheap bucket from Home Depot inside it with a silver pan(cheap ones from dollar tree) that had holes in it already. (You know, the kind you put in the oven and get for your turkey). Its topped with rocks that we had from one of my previous decorating things, added some baboo grass from the woods and all done. We plan to start taking pictures as we go instead of just the final product from now on, so we can help other do it yourselfers. Jeremy is great at doing everything for cheap. The rocks would have came from around the area and looked just as great but we had the smooth rocks already so we used them.
Now this is something he made when we were stationed in California. The sign itself is plywood scrap and a piece of 2x4 scrap, cut, put together and painted. Jeremy then made a base from a foam piece from the stuff that surronds a new tv when you buy it. It was just gonna go in the trash of course. The foam was cut to shape and sprayed with spray adhesive and some sand out of Erin's sand box, and dried overnight. Add some grass from woods, a coconut, and a green leaf, and we have an awesome sign. The sign also covers up the sandbag that holds down our canapy that covers the back patio. Its nice way to keep that hidden.

Another note, the walls are a baboo like wall that we got at Lowes in the outdoor area with the decorative fencing stuff. It was $22 and it was 20 ft long. It did 2 walls for us and the whole corner looks like a tiki hut. I think it was the best money we spent to make a big difference for not much over twenty bucks.

Decorations for Erin's party and the backyard patio

G-Nome gone Tiki...                                                         Jeremy's gnome is sitting in a bed of irish moss. Since he wasn't doing well in the sun in the front of the house we needed to move him. He didn't fit our theme in the back, so out of piece of construction paper, hot glue, and some wire he made the mask. He then covered it in paint, made for vehicles, cut out eye holes and put red construction paper in behind it. He then added some grass cut from woods behind the house and tada! a really cool mask to make the g-nome tiki cool!!